One Example
Forgiveness? Not in my lifetime. I believed that something I did as a child was completely unforgivable. It wasn’t big: I used a word I didn’t really understand to a fellow riding on the back of a garbage truck. I didn’t know that the word was hatefully connected to the color of his skin, but the expression on his face told me I had done a very bad thing. The hollow feeling that created in my chest stayed for decades.
As an adult with grown children of my own, my life was good, but I wasn’t truly happy or free. I still believed I had to suffer, but no amount of suffering could redeem me until I met two African-American women who saw and asked about my pain. They listened compassionately as I relived the episode, and then they asked me to let them, as representatives of their race and culture, accept my apology and forgive me! In awe I accepted, and a tremendous relief, gratitude, and freedom washed over me.
Then they asked me to forgive myself so that I could move forward and fulfill the promise they saw in me. Amazed again, I accepted, and my whole life opened up! I no longer feel like someone who people will avoid, distrust, judge, and condemn. I am related to everyone fully, with passion, compassion, and forgiveness.
Now I'm a World Forgiveness Initiative volunteer, and I carry and deliver the message that forgiveness is available to all of us, that we don’t have to carry around the past, and that life truly does not require suffering!
John Miller
WFI Board Member and Volunteer Staff
Kent, WA
What Is Forgiveness?
Most people feel like they know what forgiveness is and how it is supposed to work. Sadly, what we learned about forgiveness as children often actually keeps us from forgiving ourselves and others. The first step toward fulfilling our mission and vision at WFI is to clarify what forgiveness is and, more importantly, what it is NOT.
Forgiveness Is NOT...
- a sign of weakness, ignorance, or low self-esteem.
- forgetting the past and putting ourselves at risk again.
- repressing our anger and pretending we haven’t been hurt.
- refusing to hold people accountable for their behavior.
Forgiveness Is...
- something to do for yourself, not for the perpetrator.
- the only way to truly move on from a deep wrong or injustice.
- the greatest healer of all, and the ultimate preventive medicine.
- an act of the heart that heals not only ourselves, but the world.
In addition, we say that forgiveness does not have to be a difficult, painful, drawn-out process. Although the journey of forgiveness is different for each person and each incident, we know from experience that with practice, forgiveness can and does become easy, natural, and truly freeing.
Research
As public interest in a particular issue increases, there is also an increased demand and financial backing for scientific research in that area. In the past few years, we have seen a great upswing in the scientific research on the many benefits of forgiveness. If you are interested in learning more about the current scientific research being conducted on forgiveness and the scholarly articles being written about forgiveness, we recommend that you begin your own research with the following two websites.
Campaign for Forgiveness Research: www.forgiving.org
PubMed Central: www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov
PubMed Central is a free archive of articles and literature from medical journals. To use this site, type the word you’d like to search for (for example, "forgiveness") in the search field, and then click "Find Articles."
Testimonials
The impact that World Forgiveness Initiative has had on me is both so simple and so complex that I can’t fully grasp or describe it yet. First and foremost, the tools World Forgiveness Initiative shared with me have given me back a part of myself that has been lost for a very long time. Forgiveness allowed me to let go and to experience life and myself as worthy, and I was dumbfounded. Forgiveness has given me renewed strength and a sense of freedom, and has also had an affect on my business and my relationship. If forgiveness can help me, one person, in such a profound way, then I know the message that World Forgiveness Initiative spreads has the potential to heal many people…one at a time.
Karen Moberg, business owner
Burien, WA
I first heard about World Forgiveness Initiative during the 2006 Season for Nonviolence and learned that they say forgiveness can create a world where the eye-for-an-eye mentality is broken. They mentioned a great resource: the web page for Radical Forgiveness that has a special online forgiveness worksheet.
I went home and tried it out. The words “powerful” and “deep” barely do the worksheet justice. I used it multiple times, and each time I released more and more feelings and resentments. It was like turning a garden hose on full force into a dirty bucket. The forgiveness process washed me clean of so many things I was holding onto.
Before I did this work, I felt fearful... Afterwards, however, I felt so clear. I knew that what was left in my heart was pure love. I could hold my head high and feel comfortable to face anyone that I came in contact with. Thanks to World Forgiveness Initiative, I have learned that forgiving our own issues is one sure way to walk in peace.
Phyllis Daniels
Seattle
Having access to the holistic paradigm of forgiveness, the tools for forgiveness… Really, my mind feels blown – this was so awesome, timely and powerful.
Forgiveness 101 Workshop participant, Oct 2005
The depth of content and context and the interactive participation [were great]. From the beginning it was a conversation, a dialogue. Everyone had an opportunity to contribute and bring their piece to the workshop. It was such a delightful surprise to … arrive at a place where forgiveness [is] so simple – so obviously the path for our planet at this time.
Forgiveness 101 Workshop participant, April 2006
You did an excellent job of building the foundation of understanding [and] gave me a map to keep the momentum going. This was like “forgiveness camp 101” – what a great safe, intense place to cut my teeth! You are the best!
Forgiveness 101 Workshop participant, April 2006
The interaction and sharing around the paradigms helped me see new perspectives on my own stuck places. The exercises did the same. The commitment and giving of yourselves to this work, being and becoming what you teach, is probably what I value most. What transpired here definitely contributed to my awakening and transformation.
Forgiveness 101 Workshop participant, April 2006
News
Forgiveness is in the news more often than we might think. Every month, WFI’s Forgive & Live E-newsletter (Link "Forgive & Live E-newsletter" to newsletter archive) includes several links to recently-published articles that involve forgiveness in some way. WFI includes these links solely as a way to monitor the current media about forgiveness. We do not endorse the views expressed; we wish only to broaden awareness and stimulate thoughtful conversation.
To find the most current articles from English-language newspapers online around the world, go to Google.com, type "forgiveness forgive forgiven forgiving" in the search box, and then click "News" (above the search box). If you really want to stay up to date, you can use Google to create a news alert that will automatically perform the search described here every day and then e-mail you any results.
Quotes
"Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again."
Dag Hammarskjold
Former Secretary General of the United Nations
"Forgiveness and reconciliation are not just ethereal, spiritual, other worldly activities. They have to do with the real world. They are real politik, because in a very real sense, without forgiveness, there is not future."
Archbishop Desmond Tutu
"The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world."
Marianne Williamson
"To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness."
Robert Muller
Author, speaker, former Assistant Secretary General to the United Nations,
Chancellor of the U.N. University for Peace in Costa Rica
"When a deep injury is done us, we never recover until we forgive"
Alan Paton
South African writer and educator, author of Cry, the Beloved Country